Thursday, 9 October 2014

Holding me to account

One of the wonderful perks of blog-writing is the element of accountability (a word which when in the context of work makes me shudder with mixed feelings of disdain and fear) in that once I have shared my ambitions, hopes and desires (ok realistically just ramblings, but I'd like to think there's something behind them some of the time!), they are out there for people to see, and that very fact gives me motivation a-plenty to make sure I actually make things happen!

Another perk of blog-writing is that if I haven't written in a while, I have to go and do something exciting! Forever keeping myself busy, the only problem is that in recent times I seem to have forgotten the art of 'fun for free', and since living in London (not entirely (at all) true, I was heading in this direction in my final year of Norwich!) I seem to be living far beyond my means (and dragging others down with me... I mean, who wants to socialise alone?).

I just LOVE to spend money. I love to eat, to drink, to go to concerts and gigs, to visit exhibitions and attend themed parties, to wear new clothes and new shoes, to holiday and to be impulsive. But come November, I will be officially renting my flat alone, and I'm currently having a slight (ENORMOUS) melt-down at the thought of having to budget, cut back, slow down and worst of all, plan my spending in advance... WHAT IS THAT!? So, I am scribbling down my money ponderings in the hope that I will work out what to do, while at the same time sharing my burden with you, dear readers (that's a first...) as I'm sure that exposing my lack of ability to save money will absolutely motivate me to change my ways (if the thought of being forced to move home and commute isn't enough; mum isn't keen on me wasting my inheritance on survival, I think she has higher hopes for its eventual use)! I'm hoping it's a topic that others might be able to relate to? ... please someone make me feel better!

Today I sat down and actually had a little look at my bank account. While this is usually a terrifying experience as I never have as much money as I think I do, I got less of a nasty shock today as it seems that in my worrying about money, I have clearly just stopped using it wherever possible. Over the summer, funds ran remarkably low (I guess when my week usually consists of a return journey to work and a weekend splurge, my purse didn't handle daily splurging so well), and ever since I have been overly cautious with spending.

Nevertheless, I made it through the summer, and here we are in October, second pay-cheque of the academic year in, and I am surviving. So why the panic? Well I guess even after a year of residing in London, I can't get over the cost of living. I'm forever feeling like there must be a cheaper way! I would love, at some point, to save some money!? You might even say I'm feeling a little more grown up as I go into my second year and at this point want nothing more than to start working towards the own-home-goal (never in London, obviously, before I get laughed at too much)!

Theory is, if I want it enough then the expenditure adjustments won't seem so horrible. However given my wanting to weep every time I think of the contrast between my in and out-goings, I do wonder whether I'm going to cope at all well. Because, of course, my best method for cheering myself up is to go and spend in excess... gone is that boost.

So, expect future blog posts full either of strife and struggle, or thrilling tales of my weekends and holidays spent not spending. I have NO idea where this is going to go, but wish me luck!

My name is Laura Brockway and I am addicted to shopping (then posting pictures of my purchases on Social Media sites).
Vintage, children's books, wine & Tom Ford. Pay packet spent in a matter of hours.